Charlie,
Wind is a pain no matter how it occurs. You simply deal with it best you can and if its really bad, leave the boat at home.
Oar rites; I set mine at a comfortable position, so the oar grips are just slightly inside my shoulders. In your case I'd set them up so they are just inside your wife's shoulders so she is comfortable while rowing you around!
If its at all possible, I try to get what ever is going to do the transportation of the boat, to the take out before the float. By the end of the day, you'll want as little fooling around as possible. Especially if you misjudged the conditions of the wind.